Choosing Therapy
In 2017 I finally made up my mind that I wanted to commit to therapy. I was experiencing a major shift in my life and although I appeared to have it all together some days I secretly struggled. I struggled with the realization that I had been repeating cycles, recycling behavior patterns, and hanging on to emotional pain that I just could not continue to face on my own.
I procrastinated with the process and months later I was still sitting with the thought. It wasn’t until I heard a podcast in which the person shared their experience with therapy. They even spoke about a site which could assist listeners in finding a therapist. I immediately went to Open Path Collective and began searching through hundreds of profiles.
My search was so complex and drained my mental energy. I had this idea that I needed a specific type of therapist. My therapist had to be a woman, who was African American, who was centrally located near my home. She had to have a professional profile picture, introduction and website. I was soo strict with my preference that finding someone became harder and harder.
After searching and writing down about 20 difference therapists that is when the potential cost hit me. I had so many questions like how can I afford this? Are the good therapists going to be super expensive? If financial hardship hit would I have to put therapy on pause? At the time I was already paying for health insurance out of my own pocket, because I was no longer working a typical 9-5.
A year later, still procrastinating. Every few months I would search the web and add a new name to my potential list. I had to really sit with myself and ask why I was dragging this out? Was it because I feared letting a stranger into my world? Was it the potential financial obligation? Or simply me thinking I could be my own therapist? I mean after all I made it this far dealing with my life, alone right?
After a few failed attempts at meeting with whom I though would be my new therapists, I grew frustrated. They appeared to be everything I wanted on my checklist. However, communication, availability, and professionalism were subpar. At this point I was depressed with the process and gave up. I dove into my spiritual practice and dedicated my time to self-heal and although I made tremendous change, I knew I still needed therapy.
Fast forward to 2019, my birthday was approaching, and I had made finding a therapist my gift to myself. I mulled over my list and randomly picked a number and called. The receptionist was so pleasant and accommodating that I felt happy once I hung up. Within the next 24 hours I would connect with my new therapist. She had no online profile in which I could locate and was basically a mystery.
After a brief and friendly phone call followed by a professional email, I had my appointment set just before my 38th Birthday. Late April 2019 I started my first session. Months later I could not be happier. I have experienced a deeper connection with myself and released some past trauma. This experienced has allowed me to have a growth spurt so big that I cannot even express it to those around me. My healing journey has been phenomenal, but I still have a long way to go. I think back on the process and I swear my therapist was sent to me for a reason. We connect so well and really enjoy our sessions.
The best part is that my new insurance covers my sessions and I have unlimited visits.This allows me to go weekly. It’s a realization that GOD will provide what you need when you need it. I am extremely grateful. As I approach my one year mark, I cannot wait to share with you my direct experience.
If you have been contemplating therapy go for it!
XOXO