Love: 5 Ways to keep an open mind

Feb 11

As someone who has struggled with love and dating I have had to be advantageous in keeping an open mind. My experience has been a long-term relationship with my high school sweetheart to experiencing love in a few short-term committed relationships to being forced on the dating scene. It's taken me some time to understand what my heart desired when it came to romantic partnerships. I’ve listened to friends coach me on stepping out there, shooting my shot, and just getting some..all of which are far from what truly resonates with my spirit.

In the energy of having these experiences I would say my dating life has been very unfulfilling. The only piece that I will say is beneficial was refining who I am and what types of men I desire. In addition to, what values, mindsets and lifestyles I enjoy in men. I for damn sure know what I do not enjoy and are not interested in. As a middle aged woman I am finding it harder to keep an open mind on this search for my person. I desire love, but I also desire a peaceful connection.

Here are five insights to help keep an open mind and stay hopeful on your romantic journey:

1. Understanding Love Languages verses my love language

For me, the interesting thing about my Love Language is, it has changed over the years. So my advice would be to reassess your love language at every iteration of your evolution. Commit to taking the test every year and introspecting what makes your heart smile. Is it words of affirmation or do you really need acts of service to feel special. An important point I feel the need to highlight is your partner’s love language. Just because you love to receive words of affirmation does not mean your partner wants to be loved that way. It is important to ask your partner theirs and or test the languages to see which ones they are receptive to. Love language is unique to each individual. Ultimately, we desire to form deeper connections and communicate with our partner in a way that is mutually beneficial.

2. Growth in love and partnership

Every person’s life is unfolding on its own divine timing. Your connection and love will unfold on its own diving timing. Keeping an open mind and communicating the pace of the relationship will be a big factor in its success. Making a point to discuss the pace and analyzing each person’s comfortability every few weeks during the dating stage is highly suggested. Of course you should get an idea of their intention up front and state your own, but often that might shift. If you are someone looking to build a friendship and your partner is looking for a higher level of partnership this can likely create a moment of stagnation. I really love the idea of building on the foundation of friendship prior to shifting into a romantic energy. I feel in friendship energy you can freely explore compatibility, emotionality, and learn who they truly are. No masks No faking.

3. Expanding your energy around preference and embracing unexpectedness

We all have a “type” and most times anything outside of that idea gets dubbed. There could be someone outside of who you envision that provides you with the level of partnership that will change your life. Choosing to focus on what characteristics and qualities are more meaningful to you in partnership will help you choose a better person. I’ve reflected and refined this for me. I believe the downside is after this refining took place it made it harder for me to become interested in somebody. My refinements are a bit ridged. Hence, this post to keep an open mind.

4. Vulnerability builds connections with Depth

Vulnerability has been a struggle in my past. Although, I have been resistant to opening up during the dating phase I have challenged myself to do so. Expressive thoughts and emotions is one of the best ways to foster a deep connection with someone. It creates an energy of understanding one another and bulding emotional depth. Surface level expressions and conversations are good for what it is, but the point is to learn the core traits and traumas of your person. We can create a safe space and open our authentic selves up to someone else. Not only to build trust, but it's viewed as a powerful force in fostering deeper connection. By sharing our authentic selves and allowing others to do the same, we create space for genuine and meaningful relationships to flourish.

5. transmuting Differences in love into learning experiences

Love and dating will come with its challenges. There will be moments of wondering what the fuck is going on to realizing you were the one that messed up. Choosing to transmute the energy around those experiences into positive ones is one way to uplevel the connection. The hard conversations and tough love are necessary at times. Learning to take those obstacles, disagreements, and challenges as a way to learn how to better navigate is priceless. I mean that’s what growth and personal development are all about! Three outcomes can happen…either you will grow from this experience, your person will grow from this experience, or you both will acknowledge its time to part ways. None of which are truly terrible depending on your perception. We know resilience builds character and we can also say in love it will fortify the foundation.

Keeping an open mind transforms life in ways that we could never see at times. If you are on the journey of seeking love and partnership I hope this insight stays with you. Cheers to enriching and fulfilling connections.

Chanel Allure