Commanding respect silently

There was a time when I thought respect had to be earned through words, declarations, and proving myself. I believed you had to demand it, reinforce boundaries aggressively, and make it known that you wouldn’t tolerate anything less. But over time, I realized that the most profound respect isn’t commanded through force or volume it’s gained in silence, through presence, energy, and intention.

As a woman, I’ve found that my ability to command respect comes not from asserting dominance but from simply existing in my truth. It’s in the way I carry myself, in the unwavering calm of my energy, and in the unspoken boundaries I set simply by being me. When you truly respect yourself, people can feel it before you say a word.

My greatest revelation about this came when I started noticing a pattern. People around me would warn me about certain people or experiences, recounting their horror stories about how they were mistreated, overlooked, or disrespected. But when I stepped into those same situations, I often had a completely different experience one that was filled with ease, kindness, and even joy. At first, I questioned if I was just lucky, but eventually, I understood: my energy was dictating my experience.

I choose to lead with love, compassion, patience, and kindness not as a performance, but as a true reflection of how I see the world. And in return, the world mirrors that energy back to me. When you approach people with an open heart and a strong sense of self, they instinctively treat you accordingly. Some might say it’s my perspective that makes the difference; others might say it’s my aura. Whatever it is, I’ve learned that the way I carry myself silently instructs others on how to treat me.

Stillness, in this context, is owning my energy and not being easily persuaded or triggered by external people or experiences. It is remaining grounded in my energy of calm confidence, which creates the stillness and allows me to command respect. There is an element of mystery in this, how I am able to move with such steadiness while others seem to struggle, react, or have lower experiences. This stillness is not passivity; it is the quiet strength of self-assurance that naturally sets the tone for how I am received.

That being said, I’d be lying if I said this approach works everywhere. There are spaces and people who, no matter how radiant or respectful you are, will still test you. I’ve come to understand that their behavior has little to do with me and everything to do with their own lack of self-love. Some people are so disconnected from their own light that they feel the need to dim others’. But even in those moments, I remind myself that my power is in my presence, not in reacting to their darkness.

Commanding respect silently is me being so rooted in who I am that the world has no choice but to respond in kind. And for those who don’t? That’s their journey, not mine.