Vetting with Vision
When you’re in your healing era… when you’ve been doing the self-work, the inner work, the “I don’t want to repeat that lesson again” kind of work dating hits different. And when you're walking through your very good year, you realize love is more than a connection it's about intention.
That’s why vetting a partner isn't something to take lightly. When you’re building a life rooted in self-love, you simply can’t afford to invite in chaos wrapped in charm (long strokes and a beard that connects… or a big booty and a pretty smile). Whew…..ask me how I know.
Once you’ve done the work, once you’ve healed, grown, and gotten real with yourself you don’t just slip back into casual dating. You step boldly into courtship. And that’s a whole different energy. Courtship becomes a spiritual process. It’s discernment in motion. It’s the intentional ongoing question:, “Are we truly aligned?” Not just in the present moment but over the long haul.
When you’re courting you’re gathering information. You’re observing how someone speaks to your soul, how they respond to your energy, how they honor you. You’re paying attention to how they treat themselves, how they move in different environments, and how they show up for others. That’s what sets courtship apart.
Vetting doesn’t stop once you enter a relationship. It continues subtly as both people evolve. Sometimes one partner grows, heals, or awakens faster than the other, and suddenly the connection starts to feel misaligned. What once made sense begins to feel unfamiliar. This kind of shift can bring chaos, confusion, or a deep sense of disconnect. But it’s not always a sign of failure it’s a sign of change. And knowing how to navigate that shift or lovingly let go is a vital part of honoring your own journey. Because even in love, alignment matters. It’s love with strategy. Attraction with intention. And that’s exactly the kind of energy you want to lead with in your life and in your Very Good Year.
6 Core Areas to Vet With intention
These are the core areas of my life that shape who I am and how I want to live. If a partner can’t meet me in these spaces or grow with me in them it’s not something I can overlook. Sometimes that calls for a thoughtful pause. Other times, it’s a clear and immediate no. Because alignment isn’t optional when you’re building a life with intention. I am not forcing vibes or negotiating peace. I’ll Insert the block button where necessary. HA!
SELF-DEVELOPMENT & SPIRITUAL GROWTH
The question isn’t whether they’re perfect or hyper-spiritual it’s whether they’re actively evolving. Are they self-aware? Do they sit with themselves and take accountability for their actions? Growth requires reflection. You can't build something deep with someone who doesn’t even see themselves clearly.
HEALTH & FITNESS
Lifestyle matters. You don’t have to share the exact same workout plan or eat the same meals, but there should be common ground when it comes to physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Misalignment here may not show up immediately, but it can create challenges in the long run. Wellness should be a shared value, not a solo journey.
HOME & LIFESTYLE
Home is more than a space it’s an energy. You deserve to feel safe and settled in both. Do your ideas of cleanliness, order, and peace align? Are your lifestyles in sync whether that’s being more active or loving a slower, homebody rhythm? This is a space that’s often overlooked but can deeply affect your everyday harmony.
Career, money & ambition
A paycheck is great, but shared vision? That’s the real wealth. Do your values align around spending, saving, and growing? Are you both content in your current careers, or are you dreaming bigger? You don’t need the same path, but you do need shared understanding, financial awareness, and a respect for the journey ahead. That’s called stewardship.
relationship & marriage
If marriage or long-term partnership is your goal, clarity here is key. This can’t be something you tiptoe around or assume will figure itself out. Have the real conversation. What does love look like for them? How do they communicate? How do they see partnership playing out in daily life? The answers may surprise you and that’s worth knowing early on. And if parenthood is on the table whether you’re raising children now, considering them in the future, or unsure it’s a conversation that can’t be skipped. Do you both even want children? If one of you does and the other doesn’t, that’s not a small difference it’s a foundational one. How someone parents, or plans to, says a lot about their values, emotional maturity, and long-term vision.
CONTINUED ALIGNMENT
You might start off spiritually synced, physically attracted, and dreaming in the same direction… but life happens. People grow. Or they don’t. And sometimes you’ll find that the version of you they vibed with is no longer the version of you that exists. Having been in a relationship that lasted over a decade, I know what it means to evolve beside someone and what it feels like when that evolution starts to shift in opposite directions. Checking in with the connection is necessary and asking Are we still aligned? Are we growing together or growing apart?
I’m entering a season of love where self-love is the foundation. And because that self-love is rooted in peace, purpose, and joy… I stopped settling for madness. I became more present. More intentional. And ready to align with what’s truly for me. I am not dating just to date. I am vetting with clear vision. Because real love isn’t just chemistry or compatibility. It’s commitment to alignment. And that alignment has to exist not just at the start, but as life unfolds, as you evolve, and as your dreams expand.