Set Boundaries, Find Peace
I’m scrolling Instagram and came across the book “Set Boundaries, Find Peace a guide to reclaiming yourself”. It was highly recommended by an influencer that I follow. I never heard of the author Nedra Glover Tawwab and quickly went to visit her social media page. Needless to say I ordered it from amazon that night.
The need to set boundaries or the lack there of was a hot topic in my life over the past 8 months. During my shadow work period codependency was something I needed to take accountability for. For me codependency and boundaries went hand in hand which affected every relationship I’ve ever had. Although I consider myself to be extremely self-aware this was a door I never opened.
I was in a space of determining what my boundaries were and how had I verbally expressed them to the people in my life. The problem was I HADN’T”. I never set boundaries in any of my relationships from parental to romantic. I had trouble expressing my needs to people as well. I assumed they would know because they knew me. In most scenarios I thought about my experiences with an “it is what it is” mindset. I figured I had to just “deal” with what came my way because this was life or because this is what people did.
Had I gracefully set boundaries it would have saved me from so much inner turmoil and shitty human connections. Knowing even the smallest of what my boundaries are felt like it was not that big of a deal, when actually it was a life changing need. Much of my anxiety has subsided all because I’ve created this safe space for my energy. This book taught me about boundary violations and how to honor the ones I create.
I recommend this book if you are desiring to become more self-ware and improve all current or future relationships. My favorite part of the book is discussing how we teach our children about asking for what they want and expressing what they do not like in a safe space. Bonus: Each chapter concludes with a journaling exercise that helps you self- identify your needs.
Here are my biggest takeaways from “Set Boundaries, Find Peace a guide to reclaiming yourself”:
Understand the signs of needing to set boundaries like feeling overwhelmed or burned out.
Creating healthy boundaries allows you to feel safe, loved, calm, and respected.
Learning your bodies responses both emotional and physical.
Determining all the boundaries you need to set for yourself. For example positive self talk.
How to maintain boundaries in long-term romantic relationships.
“Hoping a relationship will improve without assessing it realistically will land you back in a similar or worse situation than before”. - Nedra Glover Tawwab