Lost Love

Illustration by Simone Douglas @Simdougie

I don’t speak about my love life nearly enough. To my friends and family it has been this secret part of my life for a very long time. I’ve become increasingly private about my romantic relationships over the years. Which is a result of many things from fear of embarrassment to enjoying my person without outside influence. Lets be honest some of ya’ll are nosey and messy as fuck!

After spending a decade of my adult life in a relationship that ended in complete turmoil. I’ve consistently struggled to build deep romantic connections and with feeling like something was wrong with me. I am familiar with heartbreak and its long-term effects. It wasn’t until recent years I began changing my internal narrative about those experiences. That small mindset shift is what has allowed me to begin healing that part of me. Its helped me understand the mental and emotional characteristics that I needed to face in order to propel my personal growth.

In hindsight, its also allowed me to see the good in each of those experiences and apply that newfound information to my current lifestyle. Of course there are other variables and drawbacks like my trust issues and my co-dependency, but its made this journey so much brighter. I use to deal with lost love from a space of isolation and despair. In reality its been some of the most integral life lessons ever, all adding goodness to my sense of self. I like to think of lost love as a deposit into my self-love bank account.

Moving past lost love is never easy and I found comfort in knowing that it isn’t always you picking the “wrong person” and more about figuring out your personal needs. Getting clear on what those needs are opens the gate for us adjusting to a different type of romantic life.